In Need Of Healing
by DreamsFromADistance
Summary: "Don't die on me." Those words forever changed Regina's relationship with Emma. Yet Emma was broken, and she was afraid to love again because of that seemingly inevitable end, the death of her loved ones. But Regina wasn't going to let her go. Not now, not ever. Post 5.21 "Last Rites" (brief mention of funeral scene), diverges from S5 ending, Slowburn SQ.
1. Don't Die On Me

_**A/N:** Just an idea that came to mind in thinking ahead to this weekend's episode. I plan to explore a Regina/Zelena sisterly bond and an Emma/Zelena friendship with the development of the SwanQueen relationship. I feel like there hasn't been many stories out there like that, so I was interested in trying it out. There will also be Charming-Mills family bonding, some VioletBeliever (Henry/Violet). _

**_Disclaimer:_** _I do not own OUAT, its characters, or its storylines._

" _Don't die on me." Those words forever changed Regina's relationship with Emma. Yet Emma was broken, and she was afraid to love again because of that seemingly inevitable end, the death of her loved ones. But Regina wasn't going to let her go. Not now, not ever. Post 5.21 "Last Rites" (brief mention of funeral scene), Slowburn SQ._

* * *

 _~In Need Of Healing~_

 _Chapter One: Don't Die On Me_

How many times could a heart be broken before it could never be mended again? How many times did love have to slip from your fingers before it just made more sense to never love again? How many times did Emma Swan's life have to be turned upside down because of the evil that seemed destined to disturb the little peace that Storybrooke ever received?

Why her?

She sacrificed everything for everyone around her. No one ever had to ask her otherwise. It wasn't because her title as the so-called Savoir of Storybrooke made her feel obligated to be the hero. Emma always put everyone else first because that's the kind of person she was. And Regina admired her for that.

She was currently sitting in her Mercedes, parked on the opposite side of the street from the docks. She watched Emma, who was sitting on bench just before the pier began. Her head hung low, and she could see the rise and fall of her shoulders as she wept the death of her beloved pirate. The intensity of the rain matched her sobs, as if the magic of the true love between the two was the very force controlling the weather. Regina glanced at her own reflection through the rearview mirror. The only difference between her emotions and the blonde's was that she no longer had any tears left. She had cried all of the tears she could possibly cry.

Robin had died. His funeral was today.

It had set Emma off. She had only made it minutes into the service before making a break for it. Despite her parents' efforts to pull her back, it was no use. The blonde was determined to run away from the very thing that brought back the painful memories of saying her last goodbye to Hook.

Regina wanted to run after her. Zelena even nudged her elbow to encourage her to follow. But she didn't make the slightest movement to turn away from the coffin. Her soul mate had died. The very person she was meant to spend the rest of her life with. How could she justify leaving? It would be dishonorable.

Henry had tried to go after her, but Charming stopped him.

"She needs time, Henry."

 _She needs me._

Regina had to bite her lip to keep the words from escaping her lips.

Hook and Robin weren't the only ones to die. Hades did too. Unlike Hook and Robin, he deserved his death.

Damn bastard he was.

Hades had tricked them, killing Robin to get back at Regina for taking everything from Zelena. His intentions were out of his love for her, and he was going to make Storybrooke her kingdom, the one that Regina had apparently robbed from her. He thought Zelena would be overcome with happiness at seeing her suffer. But her sister's reaction was quite the opposite.

"You do _not_ hurt my sister like that!"

"She ruined your life."

"No. _You_ ruined her life. And I will not let you harm any more of my family or friends."

Regina had smiled at her comment, but it was short lived as the scene played out.

More death. Zelena ended Hades' demise. Regina had witnessed her fall to the ground as his body went limb in her arms. She heard the choked up whisper ("I loved you, and you betrayed me. All of us."), tearing up as Zelena buried her head into his chest and sobbed uncontrollably. She came to her side, rubbing her back gently to comfort her.

Emma had been there. She ran away then, too.

The blonde couldn't handle death anymore.

At the conclusion of the funeral, Zelena approached Regina. And her discussion had nothing to do with Robin.

"You need to go talk to her."

"Me?"

"Yes, you."

Regina gripped the umbrella handle tighter and looked down at the ground.

"Honestly, Regina. She needs you, and you need her."

"How…?"

"Sisters know these things." She gave her a small smile. "I see how you look at her. How concerned you've been about her since coming back. I know that this loss… Well, it hurts, but it's hurting you more to see Emma so down. You were shedding tears for both Robin _and_ her today."

That was what brought her here. Watching over Emma from a distance. She appreciated how much Zelena fought for her and her friends since they'd made up in the Underworld. It had only been a week since that eventful day happened, yet they had grown so close to one another.

 _Thank you, Mother, for bringing us together again._

Regina stepped out of the car and walked over to the bench. She didn't bother bringing an umbrella with her. She wanted the rain to seep into her clothes, wash away all the pain, and make her numb to her feelings. Despite losing Robin a few days ago, she only felt the slightest remorse for his death. Her heart hurt more seeing Emma so broken, and Zelena had pinpointed exactly that.

She knew how Regina felt for Emma.

"Emma."

The blonde turned her head to glance at her. Sad green eyes stared into her brown ones.

She came around the bench and sat next to her. Emma continued to stare at her.

"Talk to me, dear."

Her lips quivered, but no noise escaped them.

"Emma, it's going to be okay."

She shook her head.

"I know it really hurts now, but things will get better with time. I promise."

Emma still didn't say anything. Instead, she rested her head on her shoulder and began to cry again. Regina put an arm around her and pulled her close. She ran her hand through the blonde's hair, careful to be gentle when her fingertips hit tangled knots. They stayed like that for a few minutes before she finally said something, her voice barely audible as she spoke.

"I'm sorry, Regina. About Robin."

"It's… It's okay. I'm sorry too, dear. About Killian."

Emma reached for her hands and squeezed them. Regina could feel her hands trembling in her grip. She looked down at her in concern.

"I'm so scared, Regina. I'm so fucking scared."

"Why are you scared, Emma?"

"I… I can't tell you."

"Tell me."

"No. I can't."

"Why?"

"Because… I might lose you too."

"You won't lose me. I'm right here. I'm not letting go."

"You can't promise that."

"Yes, I can."

Emma let out an exasperated gasp.

"Emma, I promise. Please. Tell me what's on your mind."

She struggled several times to get the words out in between sobs. When she did, the words suffocated Regina, like someone had pulled out her heart and was in the process of crushing it.

"Don't die on me." She backed away from her and gave her a serious stare. "Do _not_ die on me. You hear me, Regina Mills? I swear if you die on me, I won't be able to live anymore."

"Emma…"

" _Please!_ I can't lose you."

Regina tucked a lock of blond hair behind her ear and brought her hand to her cheek. "I'm not going anywhere, Emma."

The corners of her lips turned upward, and the smallest, quickest of smiles appeared upon her face. She began to lean toward her, and Regina prepared herself for what she thought was going to happen. She stroked her thumb along Emma's cheek, and slowly, when she was just inches away from her lips, she let her eyes close.

The rain began to lessen.

Regina was convinced.

It wasn't the true love between Emma and Hook affecting the weather. It was _them._ All of the pent up emotions between her and the blonde that had been building up for four years.

Emotions.

Building.

It was…

One simple word that carried so much weight with it.

 _I have to tell her._

"Emma," she whispered softly, "I…"

"I can't do this."

Regina's eyes flashed open to the blonde's panic-stricken face. She let her hand fall to her side.

"I'm sorry, Regina. I just…" She stood up from the bench and took a few steps backward. "I can't."

And then Emma ran away from her, as if she had already become a dying figure in her mind.

It only took a matter of seconds before the rain picked up again. The moment inspired the tears to come rushing back.

 _I love you._

 _I love you, Emma Swan._

 _I love you with all my heart._

 _You saved me once. Now let me save you._

 _Let me be your Savior._

 _Let me heal your broken heart once and for all._

Regina gazed out at the ocean and shivered.

If only she knew of the long road she had ahead of her.

* * *

 _Should I continue? Leave a review and let me know what you think. :)_


	2. Numb

_**A/N:** I am overwhelmed by all of the positive feedback for this story! Thank you for all of the reviews, favorites, and follows! I wasn't sure how I felt about this story, so it makes me happy to see that so many of you like it. Hope you continue to enjoy!_

* * *

 _Chapter Two: Numb_

 _Y_ _ou have reached Regina Mills. I am unable to get to the phone at the moment, so please leave a message and I will get back to you as soon as possible._

1:05pm.

 _Regina? It's Zelena. I just wanted to check in on you. Did you talk to Emma?_

1:33pm.

 _Hey, sis. Are you with Emma? I don't have her number yet to check with her, but that's what I told the others… It's been quite some time since the funeral, and I haven't heard from you. Everything okay? We're all heading to Granny's for a late lunch._

2:17pm.

 _Regina. Please answer me. I'm getting worried, and so is Henry. All of us just finished eating. Meet you back at your house?_

2:31pm.

 _Seriously, Gina. Where are you? You're not home. Henry is scared. I'm calling Snow._

2:40pm.

 _Regina! Where the hell are you? Emma is at the loft. She won't talk to us. We're coming to find you._

2:49pm.

 _Regina. It's Snow. Please answer your phone. Let us know where you are. David is trying his best to get Emma to talk, but she is just so distressed that she refuses to say anything. Please don't do that to us, too. You know you can talk to me. I don't care if you need to cry on the phone to me. Just give us a hint of where you are… If you're okay… Please, Regina. We care about you._

Regina never heard her phone. It was shoved in the compartment of the driver's side door, lost in a sea of old recipients that she'd never bothered to do away with. Each call came and went with not a single ear to hear the ring.

She had wanted the rain to wash the pain away.

Feel numb to everything around her.

She never left the bench. Rather, she laid against the wooden surface and closed her tired eyes, temporarily leaving the world full of damaged hope and crushed dreams.

They found her there, her arms wrapped tightly around herself, shaking slightly from the cold. She was completely unaware of the reality encompassing her body, stuck in a deep, peaceful sleep that drowned out her senses.

Zelena was the first one at the scene. Then Snow. And finally, Henry.

"Oh no… Sis?"

"Regina!"

"Mom!"

The frantic voices were soundless to her.

Zelena shook her shoulder gently, but just as the voices made no impact, neither had the touch.

"Mom, please! Wake up!"

Henry was beginning to tremble. Crying in fear that something terrible had happened to his mother. That she had taken her last breaths, that some evil force had stolen the last ounce of life she had left in her. Death had won once again and seemed to be a hanging cloud of misery over Storybrooke.

Snow crouched down in front of her, pushing aside her now soaking wet black hair out of her face. "We're here, Regina. Everything is going to be okay." She took hold of one of her hands and rubbed her thumb along her palm.

She could feel that. It was faint, so very, very far away from where she seemed to be drifting, but she still felt it. The numbness was dissolving, her dream-like state beginning to break down little by little. Their voices were muffled whispers, tickling her eardrums.

"Mom!"

Zelena put a comforting hand on Henry's shoulder. "It's going to be okay, Henry."

"How can you say that? She's not waking up! Why is she not waking up?"

His distraught tone tugged at her heart, broke down another barrier she was hiding behind.

 _I am waking up, dear!_

She tried to move, give them some sign that she was coming back to reality, but her muscles were extremely tense, like someone had wrapped layers of blankets around her to constrict her from any movement at all.

Snow's voice was the clearest and calmest of the three of them. "I know you hear us, Regina. No more pretending. Open your eyes."

 _I'm trying._

Why was it so difficult to open her eyes?

She was in fact opening them, but every time she did, all she saw was endless blackness.

"Mom! Wake up! I can't lose you!"

Zelena pulled Henry into an embrace, and he gladly accepted it, burying his face in her shoulder and letting the tears fall.

"Sh, sh." She gave the back of his head several reassuring pats. "She will be okay. I know it, Henry. Your mother is a fighter."

 _Momma's here, Henry. You will not lose me, dear._

She opened her eyes again to darkness.

 _Come on!_

She gripped Snow's hand in frustration.

"Regina? Guys… She just squeezed my hand!"

Regina felt herself shivering. Her clothes hung heavy on her, completely drenched from the rain. The wooden planks of the bench pressed hard against her side. Her muscles were loosening. She gave another attempt, forcing her eyelids to open, and was welcomed with brightness this time from concerned eyes staring down at her. She opened her mouth, but struggled to say the woman's name.

"Sn… Sn… Snow?"

"Hey," she whispered sweetly. "You're going to be okay. We're going to take you home."

"Oh… Kay."

"How about you sit up? Can you do that for me?"

"Mmm…"

Sluggishly, she pushed herself up to a sitting position. She had fully returned to the real world, but it was still disorientating, and she had no idea how much time had passed since falling asleep. She glanced from Snow to Henry to Zelena and back again. Questions filled her mind, but the words only formulated into a low grumble in her throat, which then transformed itself into a brief coughing fit.

It was really, _really_ cold. Her skin was frozen to the touch. Her body jerked in small motions as shudders traveled down her spine. Her teeth began to chatter.

"Snow. I'm… I'm… Co, co… Cold."

She was already in the process of unzipping her coat and placing it around Regina's shoulders.

"You'll be warm in no time. Think you can stand on your own? We need to get to your car."

"I… I… Think so."

"I'll help you."

Snow brought her to her feet, but she stumbled regardless, and Zelena grabbed on to her right arm to support her. "I've got you, sis."

Regina nodded a few times.

"Mom."

Her gaze shifted to him.

"Henry."

"It's going to be okay, Mom."

Her lips curled into a smile. "I know." She reached out her hand to him, with Zelena still hanging on to her arm. "I'm sorry I scared you, honey."

Henry closed his hand around hers.

"I love you, dear."

"I love you, too, Mom."

He tightened his grip for a moment and then let go. She suddenly found the strength to walk to her car.

Regina realized for the first time that it wasn't raining anymore.

She remembered conversations on the way home. Henry sitting next to her in the backseat, casting numerous worried glances in her direction as she tried to rest. Zelena announcing that she'd found her phone exactly where she had left it before coming to the bench. Walking through the front door, battling up the stairs, Zelena helping her find new clothes to wear, Snow warming up the shower for her. The two giving her space, but waiting outside the bathroom door incase anything happened. Zelena taking over blow-drying her hair when she became too fatigued to do so on her own. Snow making up the bed for her.

Most of that had been a blur.

But collapsing on to the warm sheets? That was the only thing that felt real after leaving the docks.

She slipped away again, letting the numbness consume her once more.

* * *

They sat in silence in the bedroom.

Emma had her back to her father, stare fixed ahead of her. The wall was in her line of sight, but she didn't see it. She envisioned _her_ face instead, leaning towards those beautiful pink lips, kissing them, hanging on to them, inhaling her warm scent as they broke apart.

She wanted so badly for that to happen.

But every time her mind drifted to that heartwarming scene, Regina disappeared. She faded away to nothingness, became yet another dying fragment of her life.

"Emma."

She clutched her pillow, eyes watering again at the imagined death she was afraid would materialize itself into something so real. She felt herself begin to rock as the violent cries escaped her mouth.

This was the fourth time she had lost it since returning to the loft.

"Emma, it's okay."

She shook her head.

Charming lightly touched her shoulder, but she squirmed away. She didn't want anyone's comfort. Or their love. Because love meant losing someone. She couldn't lose any more people in her life. She couldn't watch others lose their loved ones either. It was too much now.

"I really wish you would talk to me, honey."

 _No._

"Just a few words."

 _No._

"Can you at least tell me where Regina is?"

 _No._

"I haven't heard back from your mother yet. We want to make sure Regina is okay, Emma. We're worried about what she might have done after the funeral. We know she's really upset."

 _I'm not saying anything._

"Aren't you the slightest bit worried about her?"

 _Of course I am. I…_

 _No. Do_ not _say those words, Emma Swan. You know what follows those words._

The sobs intensified again.

"I'll take that as a yes."

 _Regina is okay._

 _She's okay._

 _She's okay._

 _She's…_

 _Okay._

Every time he mentioned her, she would tell herself that over and over again until she believed it to be true.

A beep sounded from her father's cell phone. Her heart skipped a beat at what the message would reveal, and she gripped her pillow tighter as she waited for him to speak.

"Emma, they found her. She was laying down on a bench near the docks, fast asleep. Snow says they woke her, but she is still pretty out of it. They're heading back to her place."

The bench.

That was where she had left Regina, running from her kiss out of fear.

 _She stayed?_

 _This is my fault. Oh shit. This is all my fault._

 _I broke her already broken heart by running away._

 _I fucking left her to wither away to nothing in the rain._

 _She wanted to…_

 _Damn it, Regina! I told you not to do that to me!_

 _But it was my fault..._

She pulled the pillow away from her head and held it close to her chest.

"I think you should see her after you've both rested."

 _No, Dad._

 _No!_

Emma shook her head in protest.

"Why do you not want to see her?"

 _Because I…_

 _Because of how I feel about her._

She shrugged.

"I think your mother will agree that this is best. You two lost people who were very important to you. You two can work together through that pain. You can heal together."

 _Dad. It's not like that._

 _You don't understand._

 _I can't heal with her._

 _She'll only make me break more because, damn it, I'll lose her too if…_

 _If I…_

She let out a shaky breath.

"Think about it, Emma. I really think you need this."

 _No…_

She waved her hand at him and listened to him sigh, then get up from the bed and walk down the stairs.

Emma was done hearing anyone out.

* * *

It was well after nine o'clock.

Zelena knocked on the bedroom door one more time.

"Go. Away."

There was a hint of Evil Queen resentment in her tone. Zelena's shoulders slumped.

"Come on, Gina. You've been in there since we got home. And that was hours ago. Aren't you starving? Snow made some lovely soup."

"I said go away."

"Regina."

"Damn it, Zelena. I'll magically shut you up if you don't leave me alone."

"Fine, _fine_. Eesh. Have it your way." She stepped away from the door and sighed. The poor kid wasn't going to be happy. She almost didn't want to turn around and face him, but she certainly wasn't going to just ignore him. She quickly spun around and headed down the hallway, unable to keep back a frown from forming upon her lips. Henry was standing outside his bedroom, leaning against the wooden doorframe.

"She will come around, Henry."

"I know." He shrugged. "Look, I'm sorry about lashing out on you earlier today."

"It's fine. No hard feelings. You were worried about your mother."

"Yeah... Um, I think I'm going to head off to bed. It's been a long day."

"I hear you. Goodnight, Henry."

He nodded and turned around, but he hesitated with stepping further into the room. He glanced over his shoulder. "There's, uh, one more thing."

"What's that?"

Henry turned around again. "Now that you and my mom have made up… Well, you're family, and I was wondering… Can I call you Aunt Zelena?"

 _You're family._

She actually had a family to call her own now.

Henry _was_ her nephew, wasn't he?

She smiled. "Of course, Henry."

"Cool. Night, Aunt Zelena!"

"Goodnight again, Henry."

He walked into his room this time, closing the door over.

Zelena pulled her sweater tighter around her and rocked a few times on her heels.

Family. She could get used to that.

She went to check on Roland and her daughter before heading to the guest bedroom she was staying in.

* * *

Snow picked up the phone at the sound of the beep.

 _xxxxxx_

 _11:52pm – Zelena Mills: She finally ate. Nearly killed me with her death glare. Bugged her like ten times to have dinner._

 _11:54pm – Snow White: Sorry about that. Glad to hear she ate, though._ _She like the soup?_

 _11:56pm – Zelena Mills: I can safely assume so. She finished the whole thing._

 _11:57pm – Snow White: Good. Thanks for keeping me posted._

 _11:58pm – Zelena Mills: No problem. How's Emma?_

 _11:59pm – Snow White: Not good. She refused to eat and hasn't said a word to us._

 _12:01am – Zelena Mills: Not even a 'go away'? I've heard that too many times tonight._

 _12:03am – Snow White: Nope._

 _12:07am – Zelena Mills: I know why she won't talk. It's the same reason why Regina is closing herself off._

 _12:08am – Snow White: I know why too._

 _12:09am – Zelena Mills: They love each other. And they're afraid of losing one another. Because that's what has happened every time they loved someone._

 _12:10am – Snow White: Exactly._ _I'm sorry about Hades._

 _12:14am – Zelena Mills: It's okay. Suppose it wasn't meant to be._ _I'm done with being wicked._ _I'll stay optimistic that I'll find love again one day._

 _12:18am – Snow White: You will. I know it._

 _12:20am – Zelena Mills: Thanks. :)_

 _xxxxxx_

"Was that Zelena?"

She nodded at her husband and placed the phone back on the table.

"How's Regina?"

"Well, she ate dinner and at least exchanged a few words with Zelena, most of which was, 'Go away'. That's more than Emma has given us."

Charming took her hand.

"I'm worried about her, David. Emma has been pushed to her limit. And… I don't know how much more she handle before she is completely shattered."

"I know. This is why she needs to talk to Regina. We both know that first step is the barrier in their relationship."

"It isn't going to be easy."

"True love isn't meant to be easy. If it was…"

Snow smiled at the words she'd told her daughter during her first few days in Storybrooke. "We'd all have it."

"Exactly."

Before heading to bed, Snow checked in on Emma and was relieved to find her asleep. She hadn't changed into her pajamas nor moved under the covers. Snow figured her rest was more important and didn't wake her to change. She retrieved a spare blanket from downstairs and placed it over her, tucking it neatly under her chin. She took a seat next to her, brushing a hand through her hair a few times and then leaning down to kiss her forehead. "Goodnight, sweetie."

* * *

4:32am.

Regina woke up.

So did Emma.

Regina stared at the ceiling above her.

Emma joined in the same activity from houses away.

The mayor inhaled deeply.

While the blonde let out a long breath.

"Emma."

"Regina."

And at the same time, the two whispered those three words into the tranquility of the early morning: "I love you."

Regina smiled and settled back into yet another numbing, but peaceful sleep.

Emma frowned and stayed awake until the tears made her numb and her eyes became too weary to keep open.

* * *

 _Did you like? Let me know what you think! Reviews make me happy :)_

 _As for Zelena's daughter's name (revealed in 5x21), would you like me to keep it the same or should I give her a different name? I'm for either way, and if you have any suggestions for a different name, let me know!_


	3. Saying What I Didn't Get To Yesterday

_**A/N:** Thank you again for the continued support for this story! :)_

* * *

 _Chapter Three: Saying What I Didn't Get To Yesterday_

Three hours later, Regina woke up again and decided to start her day.

After making herself coffee, she headed out to the backyard and settled down in one of her patio chairs.

What a contrast from the previous day.

It was warm and sunny, with only a few tiny clouds painting the blue canvas above her.

How symbolic the weather had been during the last two days.

Yesterday, it represented the pain and misery of losing Robin and of Emma running away from her.

Today, it was reassurance. That things would get better. That it was okay to let go and move on.

She had been planning to tell him the truth. After they had dealt with Hades and things had quieted down in Storybrooke, she was going to talk to Robin and admit that she didn't love him. She had tried so hard to love him. But it never felt right. The idea that pixie dust had prophesized her soul mate never resonated well with her. It all seemed too good to be true. And it had been.

She had waited so long to say anything because she wasn't sure if Emma felt the same about her. She was so certain that the blonde had fallen head over heels for her pirate, and he seemed to be the one.

The night the darkness tried to consume her, she knew her former judgment was wrong.

Emma had sacrificed herself to the darkness to save her. Despite pleading with her to find another way, she stuck the dagger into that whirlwind of darkness and took it all in for _her_.

 _You've worked too hard to have your happiness destroyed._

That was what she told her.

But there was more to it than that.

 _That's what true love is. It's sacrifice._

 _Giving up everything for the person you love._

That was why Emma stepped in for her that night.

Why Robin put himself in front of her when Hades tried to kill her.

Why Zelena had taken Hades' life, despite loving him. Because she loved her sister too much to let Hades win.

She hadn't heard the blonde speak it yet, but that didn't matter. Actions always spoke louder than words.

Emma Swan loved her.

She didn't care how long it took for Emma to open up to her. She needed time to heal, and she would there for her every step of the way.

Regina closed her eyes, losing herself in the sounds of nature around her. She fell asleep again, waking up some time later when someone took a seat in the patio chair next to her. She turned her head and smiled when she saw it was her sister. "Good morning, Zelena."

"Good morning, Regina. Bed not comfortable enough?"

She raised her arms above her head and stretched. "My bed? _Definitely_ more comfortable. I just woke up and noticed how nice it was outside, so I decided to come out here and enjoy it."

Zelena looked up at the sky. "It is peaceful, isn't it?"

"Yeah. It's exactly what Storybrooke needs right now." She looked back at her. "Look, I'm sorry about last night."

"It's okay. You needed time. How are you today?"

She reflected on her morning realizations. Robin's death was still a sore spot for her, and she remained concerned for Emma's wellbeing, but she also believed that the future held some positivity for not just herself, but for everyone in town. "I think I'm doing a little better."

Zelena wrapped her hand around hers, smiling at her before they both turned to gaze at the sky. They sat in silence for a while, enjoying the quiet moment they shared with each other. But a reminder of the thoughts of yesterday's pain and misery soon came back, Zelena wanting to know what was going through her mind before they had found her on the bench.

"Regina?"

"Yes?"

"The bench… Why? Why did you just lay there?"

"I needed…"

To be numb. To feel nothing. To just disappear from her problems, if only for a little while.

But to tell that to her? It wasn't that easy. Those emotions made her so vulnerable, and being vulnerable? To open up to the others around her? That was something she wasn't used to. Even with Emma she struggled to do that, but she found that with the blonde it came more naturally and with much more ease.

"Needed to?" Zelena prompted gently.

 _She's your sister, Regina. You can tell her. She's here for you now._

Regina let out a breath before responding. "I needed to feel numb to my emotions. Slip away temporarily."

Zelena frowned. "Regina…"

"Between Robin's death and Emma's unhappiness, I needed an out. Something to just forget how I was feeling for a while."

She heard the hesitancy in her voice as she struggled to ask her next question. "You… You wouldn't…?"

She knew what she was implying.

 _Kill yourself._

 _Would you go through with it?_

 _Were you in that deep of a depression because of everything that happened that you would end your life to put yourself out of your misery?_

No. She would never do that. It didn't matter how many terrible things life threw her direction. She had way too many reasons to live to even think her own death was a feasible option to end her pain. She would rather suffer than see the people she cared about go through that same pain.

Regina shook her head. "God, no. _No._ I would never do that. I could _not_ do that to the people who care about me."

"I'm sorry… I'm just worried about you."

She gave Zelena's hand a reassuring squeeze and then let go. "I'll be okay. I promise. But thank you for looking out for me."

"Of course, Regina. I'm your sister. I'll always look out for you."

Regina smiled. She was thankful for her support at this point in her life. She was so used to shutting everyone out when tragedy struck, but this time, she realized she didn't want to deal with it alone. Talking to someone, just even having them there, made things seem a little bit brighter.

And that's why Emma needed her now. She wanted to be that someone for her.

"Do you mind me asking what happened before we came?"

"No. Go ahead."

"Did you see Emma?"

"I did. She was completely distraught, so I tried to comfort her. When she finally opened up to me, she told me not to die on her. That if I did, she wouldn't be able to carry on anymore."

"Oh."

"She was going to kiss me, Zelena. She was so close. And I was about to tell her that I loved her. But she ran away because she was afraid. That if it happened, I would be dead to her, too."

"And are you afraid?"

"Well, of course I am. But I also know what my heart has been telling me for such a long time. And I can't ignore that anymore. I love her, and I will not let her go. Not now, not ever. It's going to take time, Zelena. But I am willing to take as long as it needs for her."

"Now that's true love right there."

Regina felt her face go warm, and she looked away from her. "Yeah…"

Zelena chuckled at her behavior. "You're funny. Can't wait to see the reaction when I catch you two holding hands or give each other a kiss."

The thought made her cheeks turn a brighter shade of red.

"Anyway… Hungry? I know I am."

She recovered from her embarrassment and looked back at her with an eyebrow raised. "And I should trust you with a stove?"

"Please give me some credit, Regina. I have lived here long enough to learn how to cook for myself. Besides. I did help Snow last night with the soup."

"I'm only giving you a hard time, Zelena." She stood up from her chair. "I'll help you."

They made their way back inside the house, Zelena checking in on the baby before joining Regina in the kitchen. She decided to make chocolate chip pancakes, which was Henry's favorite. She couldn't remember the last time she had actually made them for him. There hadn't been a peaceful enough moment in the last few months to even sit down and have a family breakfast.

It was nice to have someone to cook with. Henry had helped her make desserts before, but when it came to most of the cooking, she would do it alone. She could definitely get used to having her sister around. She wished they had spent less time fighting and more time getting to know one another. Of course, they hadn't known about their pasts together before their mother revealed the truth to them in the Underworld. Those details, those memories, they were the missing pieces they needed to reestablish a bond once broken. And despite all of that lost time, she knew they would be making up for it now. They had made huge strides already, and it hadn't even been that long since they'd watched their mother move on from the Underworld.

She was in the middle of setting the table when Zelena returned to the kitchen with her daughter in her arms and a smile on her face. "The boys are up. The food summoned them."

And a minute later, Roland came running into the room with Henry following sleepily behind him.

"Pancakes!" Roland exclaimed with excitement, hurrying to take a seat at the table.

"Chocolate chip pancakes," Regina said.

Henry blinked a few times and finally registered the food that was in front of him. It was clear to her then that Roland must have woken him up. She wondered how late he had stayed up last night for him to not have an immediate reaction to his favorite breakfast meal.

But it didn't take long for a big smile to appear on his face, and he started to pile his plate with pancakes. "This is great! Thanks, Mom!"

"Of course, dear. Zelena helped, too."

"I mean, I assisted. Regina did most of the cooking."

"Thank you, too, Aunt Zelena."

Regina glanced from Henry to Zelena and back again. He had never referred to her as his aunt before, even though she technically was. He had said the name with no hesitation, and she figured this was a conversation the two had the previous night. It made her smile, knowing he considered her family despite her past with all of them. That was what she loved about Henry. He always believed in a person's ability to change and become good, no matter how dark their past had been.

Her heart skipped a beat as she remembered how terrified he was when he'd found her on the bench. She didn't like that she had done that to him. She didn't want him to worry about her. She didn't want him to think he would lose her like his other mother thought.

She was not going anywhere. Not for a long, _long_ time. And even then, she would always be there for them, watching over them from a distance.

When Henry approached her a little after breakfast, she decided now was as good a time as any to talk to him about what had happened.

"Hey, Mom? Is it okay that I hang out with Violet for a little while today? We haven't gotten a chance to talk much after the Underworld and everything…"

Regina chuckled at his nervousness. Violet was his first girlfriend, and any time he mentioned her, he would act this way. "Yes, Henry. That's fine. All I ask is that you be back by four and text me updates of where you are."

"Got it. Thanks, Mom."

He started to walk off towards the foyer, and she followed him.

"Henry. Before you go, can I talk to you?"

"Sure. What's up?"

"I wanted to talk to you about yesterday."

"Okay."

"I'm sorry. I know I scared you. Especially after what happened."

"It's okay. You were going through a lot."

"No. It's not okay, honey. I should have come home, not fallen asleep on that bench. You shouldn't have to worry about me like that." She took his hands in hers. "I don't want you to think you'll lose me. I'm never going to let that happen to you, okay?"

He nodded and then pulled her into a hug. "I love you, Mom."

"I love you, too, Henry. Please know that if you need to talk about Robin, or about what happened in the Underworld, or about anything, I'm here for you."

"Me too."

They backed away from the embrace.

"There's actually one thing I wanted to ask you."

Regina waited for him to continue.

"Can you check in on Mom? I know she was pretty shaken yesterday, too, and she wouldn't talk to us when we were trying to look for you."

She frowned. She had checked through the phone messages Zelena and Snow had left her last night, and she remembered the two of them mentioning Emma's refusal to talk. She had talked to her, though. Maybe she didn't want to talk to anyone else except for her at the moment?

"I can do that, dear. In fact, I'll go see her today."

He smiled. "Thanks, Mom. I'll see you later!"

"See you later, Henry."

A few minutes later, just as she was walking into the kitchen to join the others, her phone began to ring. She pulled out the phone and saw the familiar name and number display on the screen.

 _I guess I won't be the one calling._

"Snow?"

"Hi, Regina. I just wanted to call and see how you were doing."

"I guess I'm doing as well as I can be after everything that's happened. But in comparison to the day before, I'm doing much better. I didn't get a chance to say thank you. For everything you did for me yesterday."

"You're welcome, Regina. That's what family is for, right?"

 _Family._

She was really grateful for the family she had in Storybrooke.

After a brief minute of silence, Snow began to talk again. "So I heard the soup was a real hit."

"It was very good. Everyone enjoyed it."

"Glad to hear. Might have to make some more sometime soon."

"I wouldn't object to that."

Snow laughed.

"So… How's Emma doing?"

"That's the other thing I wanted to talk to you about. Can you stop by? I think Emma could really use to see you."

"Of course, Snow. I'll be on my way in a few."

Zelena looked up at her as she ended the call. "Everything okay?"

"Not sure. But Snow wants me to come to the loft."

"She must not be talking still."

Regina sighed. "I hope she'll talk to me, then."

"She did yesterday. She might today. Even if it's just small talk. Anything's better than nothing, right?"

She smiled at her sister's optimism. She wanted to believe Emma would at least say something to her, but the scene of her running away from the bench replayed in her mind, and she worried that even she may be a target for Emma's silence now.

"I don't know how long I'll be, but Henry is out with Violet right now and I told him to be back by four. If I'm not home by then, tell him I went to see Emma."

"Will do. Good luck, Regina."

"Thanks, Zelena."

As she left the house, she began to compile a list of things she wanted to say.

* * *

Regina had made up her mind.

This time, Emma would hear her out. She would tell her she loved her.

She was also going to tell the Charmings the truth.

She let out a nervous breath and knocked on the door to the loft. Snow opened it immediately.

"Hi."

"Regina." Snow smiled. "Thank you for stopping by."

"Of course."

She walked into the loft and looked up at Charming, who was standing behind the kitchen island. She gave him a small smile before turning to look back at Snow. She dared to ask the question that she unfortunately already knew the answer to. Why else would Snow have asked her to come?

"How is she?"

Snow shook her head.

Not good.

She figured.

Charming spoke up, and she looked his way. "She won't talk to either of us."

"And you think she will talk to me."

He nodded.

Regina turned back to Snow. "I'll see what I can do."

She slowly walked towards the stairs and put a shaky hand on the railing. She glanced back at Snow and Charming, who both gave her an encouraging nod. She smiled quickly, turned back to the stairs, and headed up to the bedroom.

 _Oh, Emma._

She didn't like seeing her like this.

Emma was laying on the bed, her back to her. She was still wearing the same clothes from the funeral the day before, and her blonde hair was a complete mess now, knotted in several sections. She had her knees pulled close to her chest, and as Regina came closer to the bed, she could hear her sniffling.

Regina wanted to wrap her arms around her, sing quietly to her, tell her everything was going to be okay.

But she knew she had to take it slow.

"Emma."

The blonde peered over her shoulder and frowned as she locked eyes with Regina. She looked away immediately.

"Emma."

She shook her head and brought her blanket up closer to her face.

"Please talk to me."

Emma brought her pillow up over her head.

"No. You don't get to do that to me."

Regina sat down on the bed and took the pillow away from Emma's face. She let out a frustrated sigh and scooched over more.

"Emma, please. You know you can talk to me."

Silence.

"I know why you're doing this. It's because of what happened between you and me yesterday. And I know you're scared, Emma. I am, too. But I promise I won't let you go. You will not lose me. Not in this life, and not in another." She let her hand fall on to Emma's shoulder, and to her surprise, she didn't try to move away. "We do everything together, Emma. We always have. No matter what the future holds, I'll be there for you, and I know you'll be there for me. We'll always be together."

She heard the blonde sniffle again.

Regina moved her hand across her arm, carefully stroking it. "Take the time you need. I won't force you to talk to me. But please know that when you're ready, I'm here for you. Any time. You can call me, stop by the house, write me a letter. Whatever you feel you need to do." She gently shook her arm. "Can you promise one thing, dear?"

Emma turned to look at her.

"Please take care of yourself, okay? Eat. Shower. Get some fresh air. Visit Henry. Something other than sitting up here. I won't let you isolate yourself from the world forever." She raised an eyebrow at her. "Don't make me come here and annoy you every hour. I will. I'll even get my sister to come along. And God knows how annoying she can be."

She saw Emma's lips quiver into a quick smile before she turned away again.

"And Emma?"

She glanced at her.

"I need to tell you what I didn't get a chance to say yesterday."

Regina flinched slightly when Emma entangled her fingers around hers. She gazed into the blonde's wide green eyes, seeing the fear flash in those beautiful depths of hers. Something else was there too, just barely visible among the fear. She could read it. Emma was pleading with her to say those three words. She needed to hear them as much as Regina wanted to hear it from her.

 _Please._

 _Tell me you love me._

 _Despite my fears, despite everything that's happened…_

 _I just need to know you love me._

Regina squeezed her hand and whispered, "I love you, Emma Swan."

Emma blinked several times, then let herself smile for a brief moment. She nodded and pulled her hand away, settling back into the position Regina had found her in.

"Okay, dear. I'll be back again." She stood up from the bed. "Remember. Any time you want to talk, I'll listen."

Emma nodded.

"I'll see you later, Emma."

Regina returned downstairs, earning anxious looks from both Snow and Charming.

Snow was about to take a sip of her cocoa, but she lowered the cup and began to ask, "Did she…?"

Regina shook her head.

She placed the cup back on the table. "Oh."

Charming put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Anything?"

Regina bit her lip. _Well, she took my hand and her eyes begged me to tell her that I love her…_ She would tell them the truth, but she had another plan in mind for doing that. "She, um, did look at me and nodded a few times. She even smiled when I cracked a joke."

"Well, that's progress," Charming said with a smile at his wife.

"I think Regina should come more often." Snow looked at her. "If you don't mind, of course."

"Absolutely not. I'll be here whenever she needs me. That's what friends are for, right?"

Snow grinned. Regina did not like that immediate response.

 _Does she…?_

 _Have I made it that obvious?_

 _Or…_

 _Zelena._

She glanced at Charming. There was a twinkling in his eyes that matched Snow's mischievous grin.

 _They know._

She made a mental note to ask Zelena about this whole situation. "Um, can I ask you two something?"

They stared at her expectedly.

 _Ha. They think I'm about to confess._

 _Joke's on you._

 _You'll have to wait a little longer than that._

 _But not too long._

"This is incredibly rude of me, to do this on such short notice, but… Can I join all of you for dinner tonight?"

"Oh no, it's not rude of you at all!" Snow exclaimed enthusiastically. "We'd love to have you for dinner. I'm sure Emma would be happy to see you again."

 _Me too._

Regina tried to not look overly excited.

"Let me bring something. I can make apple pie."

"Sounds good!" Snow smirked. "Just please don't use any sleeping cursed apples."

Regina rolled her eyes.

"I'm sorry. I had to."

"Ha, ha."

Charming put out his hand. "Hey, let's not give Regina a reason to not show up."

"Oh, it's all good fun. Right, Regina?"

She gave Snow her best Evil Queen glare.

"Oh shit. Maybe I was wrong."

Regina shook her head and then laughed. "Did I just hear Snow White say 'oh shit'?"

"Ha, yeah. You did. I guess I picked it up from Emma. But… You know, Regina, you spent so much time trying to kill me during the time I was bandit that you didn't get to know the real badass I was. So yeah, I did swear a ton."

Charming raised an eyebrow at her. "Did you now?"

"Oh yeah. All the time."

Regina could detect the uneasiness in her tone. "Alright, stop lying to yourself."

"Okay, you got me." Snow pressed her lips against her cup. "But I was badass."

Regina exchanged an amused glance with Charming, and they both started laughing.

"What? I was!"

"I didn't say you weren't," Charming said, putting an arm around her shoulder. "You robbed my carriage, knocked me out several times, and fought off some trolls with me."

"Oh yawn. I'm sorry, Snow, but I was _way_ more badass than you."

"Hey, don't make me uninvite you from dinner!"

Regina put up her hands defensively. "Alright, Snow White is the badass of them all. Let's all bow down to her."

Both her and Charming tipped their heads forward as if to acknowledge this as fact. Snow folded her arms across her chest.

"That's more like it."

Regina grinned. "So… When should I be here?"

"Seven. Think you can manage being on time?"

"Nope. Think I'll burst through your door instead and say, 'Sorry I'm late'. Promise I won't magically send anything flying to the side as I enter the room."

Snow leaned back in her chair and laughed.

"Well, if you promise to do that," Charming said, "I promise I won't throw any silverware your direction. You know, since I don't have a sword to throw at you instead?"

Snow snorted and that sent the three of them into a fit of laughter.

Regina couldn't believe this. They were actually _laughing_ about the day she crashed the Charmings' wedding and threatened to destroy their happiness. She never thought she would see this day come. Hell, she never thought they'd be humoring each other over it.

The Charmings weren't so bad, she guessed. She hadn't even had one dinner with them yet, and she was already thinking ahead to more. Throw Emma into the mix, and she wasn't even sure any of them would be able to get out a word without bursting into laughter first.

Amazing how much had changed since the original curse.

"Well, I should probably get going. I've got some sleeping cursed apple pies to make, and it's going to take me a while to scrounge up a couple more of those apples. Might have to travel to another realm to get them, you know."

"Oh, so you're _definitely_ not going to be on time then," Snow said in an exaggerated tone. "We'll plan to see you in a few days. Bring your phone at least so you can text us updates."

Regina chuckled. "I'll see you two at seven."

With that, she left the loft.

She was looking forward to tonight. She hoped Emma would make an appearance at the dinner table, or at least say something to her when she went up to visit with her.

She glanced at her phone and saw it was nearly one o'clock. There were a few things she had to get done in the hours leading up to the dinner.

Pick up a few groceries.

Make apple pie.

Decide what to wear.

And prepare how she would tell Snow and Charming that she loved their daughter.

That last one was going to be the hardest step.

Regina smirked.

Maybe not. There was no questioning they knew something.

She dialed Zelena's number.

"Hey, Regina! How'd it go?"

"Did you tell them?"

"Tell them what?"

"Oh, don't try to walk around it, sis. You told them I love Emma, didn't you?"

"Well, I may have mentioned something to Snow last night… But she already knew."

"What?"

"Yes, Regina. She already knew. So I assume that charming husband of hers knew as well."

"Do I really make it that obvious?"

Zelena started to laugh.

Regina stopped walking. "Seriously, though. Do I make it that obvious?"

"I mean, come on, your lingering glances at each other? I haven't even been around you two as long as them and those glances are like, ' _Gaawwd_ , just kiss me already!'."

She frowned. "I hate you right now."

"Not as much as you used to!"

"I can still magically shut you up."

"Oh, you wouldn't do that."

"Try me."

"Hey, it makes your job easier when you let them know the truth."

"Which I will tonight. Over dinner."

"Ah, well that's great to hear, Regina."

"And you're going to help me make apple pie."

"Let's get everyone involved then. Henry and Roland can help, too."

Regina smiled. "Sounds like a plan."

* * *

Emma rolled on to her back, smiling at the goodhearted laughter coming from downstairs.

Her parents were actually getting along with Regina. Joking even about her parents' wedding, the very day Regina had made it her life's destiny to take away not only her parents' happy endings, but an entire realm's worth of happy endings.

And her mom thought she was a real badass.

She couldn't help herself. She had to laugh at that.

 _I mean, she was pretty badass…_

Then Regina's quip.

Mirror, mirror on the wall…

 _Snow White is the badass of them all._

And supposedly, Regina had some sleeping cursed apple pies to make that could possibly require her to travel to another realm (most likely the Enchanted Forest) to procure.

She was coming for dinner.

Tonight.

At seven.

Maybe she could say 'hi'?

Her heart skipped a beat as she heard Regina's voice in her mind.

 _I love you, Emma Swan._

She bit her lip.

 _I love you, too, Regina Mills. But I just can't say it yet. Not yet._

There was something she could do. Take care of herself, like Regina requested her to do.

When she heard Regina leave, she got up from the bed, grabbed some new clothes, and came downstairs. Her parents were sitting at the kitchen table, and they smiled at her appearance. Emma gave them a quick nod and went for the bathroom to take a shower.

"She heard us, David."

"She did."

"She wants to look nice for Regina. I don't think we'll have to convince her to eat tonight."

"Maybe she'll talk, too?"

Snow sighed. "I hope so, David. I really hope so."

* * *

 _Hope you enjoyed :)_


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